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  • Gina Kitzmiller

Falling Out of Flow

Updated: May 27, 2021

I came back from Mt. Shasta, California a few days ago. It's a well known place in the spiritual community. Some say it's the "Crown Chakra" of the World. It's a place that is said to be magical and full of spiritual energy. I had high hopes before the trip and it didn't disappoint. I went to bed each night feeling like a little kid on Christmas Day- where the day had been so spectacular I didn't want to fall asleep for fear it was a dream.

But I noticed the magic of Mt. Shasta didn't jump out at me. At first it was just...nature. The scenery was beautiful and there were gorgeous hiking trails. Each day, the magic didn't unfold until I paused and really connected in to the land and the energy around me. It was often hidden in the unexpected. A singing bowl experience with new friends or a 2 mile hike up the mountain that was gated and "closed." If I had only focused on reaching the end of the trails, I might have missed it completely.

I thought about how often in life we talk about FLOW. It's easy to know when we are in it- everything is clicking and life feels effortless. Yet for me, it is often elusive. I have periods where everything is alive and moving but the feeling fades away. Things begin to feel stale and stilted. I realized it's because I tend to be rigid in my approach to life. Once I'm in flow, I expect it stay exactly the same each day. I often want a schedule to go by each week. If I have a great meditation at 6am last week in the morning, I refuse to do it at night- even if I am being nudged to explore a bit.

The state of Flow is energy- constantly moving and shifting. What worked to bring us into connection today may look completely different tomorrow.

But as a human, I often want to be rigid. I want to know that my choices in meditation, food, drink or exercise will work tomorrow. If yoga at 6am worked today then I try to schedule it every day this month. The problem is that eventually the flow will change and I'm left wondering why what worked yesterday isn't working today. I ignore the signs that maybe I'm being asked to do something different such as painting or going for a hike in the park.

The biggest problem this creates is that my days end up on a repeat like in the movie Groundhog Day. After awhile I feel uninspired, unmotivated, and lethargic in the morning.

I asked my guides about it and they promptly responded, "Would you want to read the same book over and over?"

I gave that some thought for I hadn't looked at it that way. My Higher Self must be saying, "Seriously, Gina? AGAIN?? Haven't we lived this day 100x already? Can we do something new?"

Mt. Shasta broke a serious rut I had gotten myself into. When my friend brought up the idea of us going, I gave 100 reasons why I couldn't go- who is going to watch my kids, how could I justify the cost, work etc... but the small voice inside whispered "Go!!"

When we arrived after a full day of travel, we found the Innkeeper had been called away for an emergency. Immediately other guests and the neighbors jumped in to his role. They showed us around the property and gave us suggestions for places to eat. I found myself texting people that I had only met a few hours before which was unusual for me. But everyone was so welcoming, it simply felt natural.

The next day when I stood on the mountain and looked at the brilliant blue sky and felt the wild wind swirling around me- all my previous excuses faded away. I knew this was exactly where I was supposed to be. I realized that if I didn't listen to that inner voice, I would have been back in my living room and living the same Groundhog Day for the millionth time instead of looking at the incredible view. It made me sad to think of how close I came to missing the mystery.

So you may want to ask yourself- where is your life stuck and not moving? Are you holding on to a pattern that brought you joy last year but doesn't light you up today? Where can you make small changes to disrupt the daily pattern? Where does the energy fall flat rather than flowing in your life?

It is my intention to begin to revisit these questions and begin to shift my patterns. From using a different coffee shop, to traveling, or changing up my meditation routine. I want to put Groundhog Day on pause and put in an entirely new movie. One that I haven't seen before...

© 2021 Regina Kitzmiller

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