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  • Gina Kitzmiller

A Seat at the Table

Updated: Jan 31


Although I'm excited for 2022, it seems to have started off with several departures. Many people I know have been touched by loss over the last several weeks.


One of the hardest things for me in grief was exploring the belief that my loved one was gone and no longer with me. It is painful to think of not being able to reach someone, yet the deceased are no further from us in spirit. They can often act on our behalf and help from beyond the veil in ways we don't see. They remain close in all things- from the big challenges to day to day life.


I've learned those in spirit love when you talk to them like they are sitting across from you.

,I was reminded of this recently. I had been struggling with some personal issues so I fell back on a comforting routine I had when my husband first died. After the kids had gotten on the bus, I made a cup of coffee and lit a candle. Then I called forward my loved ones. I also asked for my spirit team by stating I wanted to talk with "my highest, best, most loving guides, angels, helpers, teachers and loved ones that are of the light and most able to serve," I found a similar quote in a book by Melanie Beckler years ago, and have adapted it for my own use.


Then I began to open up and talk out loud from the heart. I told them my problems, my fears and I asked for help and guidance. Then I picked up my pen and began automatic writing, which I'll explain more in a future post. This is a valuable tool to receive guidance and insight.


My husband came forward immediately with a note of reassurance. He told me it was much easier to come through with messages to me. "You give us a seat at the table," he explained. He said they work with others but it was often like talking through a closed door. It can be done- but more difficult. He laughed and thanked me for making it easier for them.


I always find comfort in this practice. I know it is not something we embrace in our culture but I think many people instinctively do this. We talk to our deceased loved ones in the car, in our heads, and in our hearts. For me, I often speak out loud and picture them sitting across from me. It makes me feel heard in ways that I can't put into words.


Denise Linn (author of many books including Soul Coaching) even suggests having a dinner party where you invite a deceased loved one for dinner. I haven't tried this yet, but I love this idea. It reminds us that just because our loved ones are no longer visible to the human eye - they are still with us. We have to learn to expand our human expectations to open to messages and communication. It's still there- we just have to learn a new way. We often forget in our desire for physical touch or sight, that the bond of love in unbreakable.


So if you find yourself stuck or needing assistance, why not ask your spirit team and/or loved ones for help?

Talk to them. Yell, cry, express whatever you're feeling in the moment. They aren't going to be upset with you. Just tell them what is going on and ask for them to help in ways that are for your highest good. Why do I always specify "my highest good" because I want to make sure that someone doesn't make a bad decision. Do I think that can happen? I'm not sure. But what if some nosy distant relative interferes? It sounds comical, yet I choose to cover all of my bases.


I always feel better knowing there are many working behind the scenes on my behalf. Even if I can't see them- it doesn't make their presence any less "real." And as for me, well, I take all the help I can get!


So picture your own table- who are you offering a seat to this year?


© 2022 Regina Kitzmiller


photo: Wix media









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